Time and time again we encounter these surprise out-of-nowhere Cinderella stories put together by players we would have never imagined. Guys with salaries far less than that guy at Burger King who subconsciously farts every time he hands you your cheeseburger. Guys with salaries far less than that chick who stayed at your house about 48 hours longer than she should have after what was meant to be a one night rendezvous. Guys that honestly have no business being on a football team for any reason other than to shatter any chance you had at winning a tournament. In the case that you were wondering I’m talking about Week 2 starlets Rashard “Hollywood” Higgins and J.J. “I Need More Initials” Nelson. I did manage to throw Nelson into several lineups last week, but I can tell you that a scamper through my rosters just minutes before kickoff is something that few people want to do and even fewer people have time for.
Thats why the DailyPlayAction is here to help!
But first, for credibility’s sake, lets set the clock back to Week 2 and see how we did with our DK lineup:
QB: Philip Rivers – 20.24pts
RB: Marshawn Lynch – 14.20pts
RB: Jay Ajayi – 17.60pts
WR: Tyreek Hill – 8.90pts
WR: Keenan Allen – 22.00pts
WR: Adam Thielen – 8.40pts
TE: Kyle Rudolph – 8.50pts
FLEX: Melvin Gordon – 20.80pts
D/ST: Tampa Buy Buccaneers – 19.00
TOTAL: 139.64 points
Summary: Sam Bradford forgot his tampons at home and was ruled out of Sunday’s game at Pittsburgh, which paved the way for Case “Lord of the Flies” Keenum to step in and screw over my boys Rudolph and Thielen. Tyreek Hill was a boom or bust play, but overall the rest of my lineup – including my Chargers stack, turned out as advertised.
Now that I hopefully have your forgiveness, please return your lineups to their full upright and locked positions, as we jump into what looks like a very delectable Week 3 slate:
Kirk Cousins – Washington Redskins
DraftKings Salary: $6,100 Projected Ceiling: 29 Points Projected Ownership: 7%
Yes, I’m completely aware that Cousins has sucked so far this year. However, the Skins are hosting the Raiders this week in what promises to be an old school backyard shootout. Vegas projects this game to be the highest scoring contest of the week, and the Raiders have a young and inexperienced secondary that just allowed two taters to fucking Ivan Drago. That’s a flat out disgrace. Gimme Cousins this week as game script indicates that Washington will need to pass a ton to keep up with a high octane Raider offense.
I trust this commie bastard more than I do Oakland’s secondary.
Kareem Hunt – Kansas City Chiefs
DraftKings Salary: $8,000 Projected Ceiling: 33 Points Projected Ownership: 14%
I had no idea who this guy was about a month ago, and all of a sudden hes the best running back in the NFL. Hunt enters Week 3 continuing a rich tradition of Kansas City running backs, and I don’t think a stout San Diego front seven lead by Joey Bosa and Melvin Ingram will be able to contain him considering his versatility in the passing game. This quick shifting hobgoblin from Toledo is averaging 7.63 yards/carry and led the NFL in rushing prior to last night’s surprise fuckfest between the ‘9ers and Rams. All I needed was two NFL weeks and an average of 37 DK PPG to be convinced that this KC rushing attack is matchup proof.
Ty Montgomery – Green Bay Packers
DraftKings Salary: $6,900 Projected Ceiling: 28 Points Projected Ownership: 19%
TyMo is the runt of the litter. Not only does he wear #88 as a running back, but I’m pretty sure he never intended on being a starter in this league. If it weren’t for Fatty Lacy and 90 year old James Starks being the only two options in front of him in recent years, this guy would have never had the opportunity to grace a football field. With that being said, I think Montgomery is in a position to get overlooked after his price tag increased more than a $1,000 after a dynamite showing last week. When you have a QB like Aaron Rodgers, and run like an RB with the hands of a WR, good things will happen. To make matters even better, the Bengals basically suck this year and will be without prized convict Vontaze “407739” Burfict. Montgomery could catch one and carry another in a game that will be over before it starts.
Ty Montgomery has peddled his way into my starting lineup.
Amari Cooper – Oakland Raiders
DraftKings Salary: $7,100 Projected Ceiling: 27 Points Projected Ownership: 9%
The only thing I love more this week than the thought of bombing the shit out of Kim Jong Un’s private basketball court is Amari Cooper. Dennis Rodman can go too. Cooper has been overshadowed in a big way by savvy and talented veteran Michael Crabtree who has managed to vulture several TDs from Cooper’s mitts over the first two weeks of the season (and almost entire career). So why should you risk this investment for the 3rd week in a row? Well for one, Crabtree will draw Josh Norman 70% of the time who, like his twin-sister Richard Sherman, never leaves one side of the field. The good news here is that Amari will draw Bashaud Breeland, and contrary to the Redskins belief, their 2nd CB will get absolutely manhandled out of sheer stupidity. The ‘Skins don’t want to disrespect Breeland by allowing Norman to cover the superior receiver. Trust that 89 is finna bust a serious nut on an otherwise marginal pass defense.
A live look-in at the Redskins defense:
Terrelle Pryor – Washington Redskins
DraftKings Salary: $5,900 Projected Ceiling: 25 Points Projected Ownership: 11%
I’m back again Terrelle. Please don’t return to your bum-like ways and play wide receiver like you’re still a quarterback again this week. For reasons listed under “Kirk Cousins” above, and the $6mil he just got paid, Pryor will prey this week like a phantom in the night as everyone else sleeps on his inconsistent ass. The fact that Pryor got 11 targets at home in week 1, yet will play an even shittier Oakland pass defense with a positive game script in his favor this weekend poses the question “How would you like your breakfast, Mr. Papagiorgio?”.
Danny Amendola – New England Patriots
DraftKings Salary: $5,400 Projected Ceiling: 22 Points Projected Ownership: 1%
Danny Amendola is Julien Edelman minus the Brady grab ass. 10 receptions for 100 yards in Week 1 told me that if this guy can manage to keep his head attached to his torso, he will be productive in this offense. Some may think this price tag may be a bit high, but its those same few who are most likely forgetting that Tom Brady loves giving it to fast, little white guys.
Danny Amendola’s femme of choice is none other than Miss America – Olivia Culpo, so we already know he scores well.
Jared Cook – Oakland Raiders
DraftKings Salary: $3,100 Projected Ceiling: 22 Points Projected Ownership: 10%
Don’t ask me why, but Jared Cook is playing for his 4th team in 6 years. In the last half decade, we have seen Cook make some incredible plays, and also completely embarrass himself in front of the entire country on national television. What we haven’t seen yet is Jared Cook living up to the hype he had brought with him into the league in 2009. The guy is super talented, and is a candidate for a serious bounce back week against a feeble Redskins defense that is consistently among the worst in the league at covering tight ends. Cook may end up being somewhat of a chalky play, but he still represents the closest thing to a sure thing that you’ll find at the tight end position all week.
Isaiah Crowell – Cleveland Browns
DraftKings Salary: $4,800 Projected Ceiling: 24 Points Projected Ownership: 12%
My 2nd favorite Isaiah in Cleveland gets a shot to punish a Colts defense that raised the white flag the minute Andrew Luck went down. Crowell comes into this game with questionably the best offensive line in the league, yet has held complaints about his usage with Browns coach Hue Jackson. Crow is in a contract year, and is a very, very hungry boy. Now that Jackson has pledged to make the rushing attack a priority again, I expect at least 100 yards and a score out of this capable stud.
DraftKings Salary: $2,600 Projected Ceiling: 16 Points Projected Ownership: 1%
The Panthers D just might be the steal of the week at $2,600. In a week where DK salaries do not allow for much wiggle room, I think there is some great value to having a defense anchored by Luke Kuechly who is just two years removed from a Super Bowl appearance. Carolina doesn’t play in a dome, so Drew Brees is likely screwed. Take the kitties to steal you 15 D/ST points as a favored home defense.
Carolina Panthers Vice Chairman and President of Football Operations Luke Kuechly
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